This past week the whole #teacherbae situation opened my eyes to something about myself. I found myself defending this woman because she wasn’t afraid to show her curves and be feminine. It bothered me so much that other women criticized her so much at times I became enraged. On top of the #teacherbae thing, I began listening to Amber Rose’s podcast Loveline. I was completely taken back on how much I agreed with thoughts and feelings on women and double standards. Before I knew it I was questioning my stance on feminism.
In the past I’ve always had a negative taste in my mouth about feminism. One I felt like feminism wasn’t a black woman’s issue because during the time that feminism started it was white women fighting for issues black women wasn’t entitled to regardless. On top of that I always felt like feminists were bitter, men hating women, who looked for any and everything to complain about. Plus I’m old fashioned, I love the idea of a men and women knowing their roles and I’m ok with the man being the head of the household. I love a masculine man who can guide and correct me with love.
On the flip side I believe women should be paid equally as men for the same job. Gender shouldn’t play a role with determining if a person is qualified for a job. Women should have a right to choose what they want to do with their bodies.
What I’ve discovered is it infuriates me to see women being shamed and judged for doing what makes them happy. I believe the double standards on women is foolish and it needs to stop. I really have an issue when I see other women trying to put women in a box because they’re uncomfortable with a woman living free and true to herself. Women should be able to dress how they want, sleep with who they want, and enjoy their lives without criticism and judgement. Especially without criticism and judgement of other women.
With that being said I’m starting to feel like maybe I am a feminist. I’ve been doing some research about different kinds of feminism some aspects I agree with others was a bit extreme for me. I believe I fall in the lines of a lipstick feminist. A lipstick feminist believes that women shouldn’t be shamed or judged for wanting to embrace her femine side. She shouldn’t have to water down her appearance or ignore her sensuality to make other people feel comfortable. Lipstick feminist are also against slut shaming and the double standards set on women when it come to sexuality.
I’ll be honest and say it took me a minute to comes to this mindset. I was that girl who judged other women for “slaying” all day everyday. Now I’ve become this woman who loves a woman who is free enough to express her femine side and embrace her sensuality all the while kicking ass in the classroom, boardroom, and bedroom. My name is Feela and I’m a lipstick feminist 💋
Peace and love