As parents we always want our children to do their best and become better than ourselves. We discipline them, share whatever knowledge and wisdom we have, and sometimes we shelter them from things we think will have a negative impact on their lives. Only to have your children make decisions that will cause more harm than good to their lives and future. The first person a parent would blame is there selves. You start to wonder what you did wrong, how did you fail as parent, or what could you have done better. Let me be the first to tell you stop blaming yourself.
I am going through the same thing with my teenage sons. I did every thing I could to make sure they were successful. I was fully active in their academics and athletics. I took them too or paid for them to travel and experience different things. Our conversations was about being a leader and doing the best you can do. Only to have both of them do the complete opposite.
Yes, I blamed myself, cried, prayed, considered making changes in personal life all because my sons are acting out. I felt as though I failed as a parent. I could not understand why my sons have chosen to do some of the things they were and are doing. Until, I understood their actions were a choice, something I had no control over. As humans we have free will, we are given options and told to choose. What we choose is totally up to us.
Yes, it’s painful to see your children make terrible decisions. However, you cannot blame yourself. Don’t give up on them, not at all. Yet you have to find the strength and peace to let go, and know you did your best. I’m hoping my sons will make a turn around and start considering their future. However, I will not blame myself for the choices they making. I taught them better and they choose worse.